Why is church so dull?
16 February 10
I don’t really like to reproduce verbatim other people’s works on my blog, but I think this is important enough and wanted to share it with you. This fellow writes exactly what I have been thinking, and he does it well. I’ve taken this article in its entirety and pasted it below. Please read it and leave a comment.
The Flabby Body of Christ
Why is church so dull? A psychotherapist diagnoses the Sunday ritual.
CHURCH IS boring. I don’t ever recall hopping out of bed on Sunday morning jazzed about the sermon, even when the preacher was good. I’ve never driven to church in anticipation of hearing the choir or the worship band, even when they included remarkable musicians. When I went, it was to see my friends. I wanted to talk. Sunday school and Bible study were okay, but breezeway and parking lot conversations were the most invigorating. My utmost communion with the Body of Christ didn’t even happen on the church premises. That happened in some loud restaurant that offered free refills of Diet Coke that helped me power on past noon and large portions that would render me unconscious fifteen minutes after I got home.
Now that I have kids, I don’t really get to have church anymore. Our four year-old quadruplets (all natural, so step-off, octo-haters!) keep us scurrying during the breaks. I go to church for them now. Statistics on church attendance, especially for men my age, suggest that I’m not alone. Maybe the problem isn’t me, after all. Maybe something is wrong with church.
As much as postmodern evangelicals bandy about the word “community,” our gatherings have changed very little. Stylistic alterations might add some hipster flair, but the focal point of the liturgical week remains theater. A dozen or so people perform for a few hundred that sit, stand, kneel, pray, and sing on command. We squeeze real community into the gaps, between events with a hierarchical structure. Not only is this a long way from Biblical models of the early Christian church, it’s a breeding ground for messy group dynamics. And, again, it’s boring.
Church today, whether a cathedral, a mega-aluminum warehouse, or a little wooden building in the country, has little in common with the New Testament church. In the first century there was still teaching, prayer, and worship, but the early church was about community. Paul’s letters paint a picture of people living together and collectively figuring out what it meant to follow Christ. The authority of the leaders and teachers wasn’t a forgone conclusion. They were in dialogue with their congregations. Paul himself often had to defend his position of authority and many of his letters are part of an ongoing doctrinal debate. You get the sense, however, that even theological issues were somewhat secondary. The focus was a meal, not a class or a worship service. Some early Christians enjoyed the community meal so much that Paul had to tell them to tone it down because they were partying a little too hard.
Nowadays, it’s hard to imagine most Christians getting too carried away having a good time together. Church is an adjunct to professional and familial communities. We get up on Sunday, drive, park, sit, listen, sing, pray, chat, and go home. Even if we’re involved in a small group, the relationships are usually secondary. The early Christians learned and grew through relationship. It’s plastered all over the New Testament. Yet, we still structure our religion around one guy, and it’s not Jesus.
Churches often grow for the wrong reason. If you don’t find church boring, it’s probably because of a talented preacher. He’s smart, but moreover, entertaining. Big, active churches are cults of personality, not communities. Try to imagine Mars Hill in Seattle without Mark Driscoll. Try to imagine the other one without Rob Bell (though at least he had the wisdom to abdicate his throne). Try to imagine Lakewood Church without Joel Osteen. You can’t. When the focus turns to Christ, it’s because a showman gets our attention first. We don’t find God in each other. The Body of Christ has an enormous head atop a weak, flabby body.
Though pastors give “servant leadership” lip-service at leadership conferences, few enter the ministry out of a desire to submit and suffer for others. How could they? How can we expect our leaders to be authentic when theater is the center of our religious week? How can someone consent to shepherd the flock as a Man of God without being narcissistic? Any leader in the modern church needs at least a little bit of narcissism to survive. No one is drawn to such a job unless they enjoy power and attention.
A little narcissism isn’t really the problem. We need to like ourselves and have a healthy sense of entitlement. But when these traits reach a clinical level in the form of Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD), it’s poison to the body of Christ. In my fifteen years as a psychotherapist, I have encountered few human systems so consistently dysfunctional as church staffs. I’ve heard of pastors doing things that would make the most ambitious CEO’s blush. Though most of us only hear about this when a high-profile church leader’s grandiosity leads to recklessness, most of the time acrimony and dysfunction continue behind the scenes for years. When we rely on the talents and titillating vision of one man instead of the slow, silent life of community, it’s easy for people to get hurt.
After spending a thousand words twitting the Sunday service, I should probably come up with an alternative. But I don’t think that’s a good idea. I’m too narcissistic as it is, and I don’t want to be the one to tell you how it’s supposed to be. We need to decide. We need to figure out, once again, what it means to follow Christ together. This is a plea, not a prescription. I want church to be fun again. By fun, I don’t mean entertaining or topical or cool. I can get that at concerts and movies, and they do a much better job than the church ever will. No, I want to talk. I want to listen, but to a friend instead of a sermon. I want to be taught, but only if I can ask questions and participate in dialogue. Mostly, I just want to eat, drink, laugh, and enjoy other people. That’s where I find God.
— Stephen W. Simpson is a psychologist, writer and professor at Fuller Theological Seminary in Pasadena, California.
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1 · Renee · 16 February 2010, 21:41
If you find church boring, you’ve been going to the wrong church.
Since finding my niche in church ministry, I look forward to church every week. It’s exciting, uplifting, rewarding…and it’s not from a showman preacher.
Don’t go expecting to get something from it; go with the prayer of what you can contribute.
2 · Tracey · 16 February 2010, 21:42
Agreed!! But my experience is a little different. I’ve come out of Catholicism which is just so full of ritual that I found it devoid of…life…relationship…God. So at present we’ve ventured into an AOG Church which is just so different from my previous church experience that I’m still lapping up what it has to offer – worship and Word wise.
But I haven’t connected in a strong way to the community and I don’t hold all of the same views. I don’t believe in segregating the children from the parents for Sunday School so I’m immediately out on the outer and possibly just a touch too weird for the standard Christian. Hubby’s still technically Catholic so our current Church is a good place for him spiritually. But I don’t consider myself AOG or whatever the correct term is. I don’t want to be any “religion” at all. I just want to be in a place where I can learn how to be in relationship with God.
Having said all of this there is a totally different experience that I have each week that is more valuable to me faith-wise than Church on Sunday. It’s a simple playdate for the kids and afternoon tea for a friend or two and I. The kids play and my friends and I talk over cake and tea. We talk about life, we talk about God, we talk about God’s work in our lives, we pray, we support each other, we discuss differences in opinion and we even correct each other lovingly. It’s these afternoons that I find very valuable in my Christian life, more so than Church on Sunday.
Yes I learn at Church too. But with my Christian friends we can ask questions, we can disagree, and we can talk about things that are relevant to right now. The first time I recognised this importance to me was when I noticed that a afternoon with these friends always led me to my bible and the Father, the same could not always be said about Church on Sunday.
Not sure if these thoughts come anywhere close to what this man is talking about but it’s what it reminded me of as I read it.
3 · Renee · 16 February 2010, 21:43
This is harsh, but you asked for comments…
I think you and David have been looking for excuses for NOT going to church. This article justifies your position, that’s why you like it.
4 · Natalie Sudborough · 16 February 2010, 22:21
I am involved in the church he describes in China. We don’t have the luxury of having a pastor because we are so few and full-time foreign religious leaders are against the law. I love my church. It is my favourite of all the families I have joined over the years. But, as you spend time in a community like ours, you begin to understand why a pastor-centred structure became so popular. We all work full time so really waiting on the Lord for a message when it’s your turn on the rota is rarely an option. The result is often very similar to New Testament style meetings in which we have a meeting of the minds, hearts and the Spirit. However, just as often, we experience a constant succession of unrelated, disorganised, shallow, or even – from time to time – unintelligible messages. We jump at the chance to let guests from out of town lead because of our lack of structure, but sometimes find ourselves unpleasantly surprised by Spiritual Fruit Loops from our home countries. But the fellowship and personal connection and the resulting spiritual growth is in every way a reflection of the New Testament experience.
My point is that there is no Utopian Church System as long as humans are involved. The author’s approach is a bit too consumerist-flavoured for my taste. He self-consciously deflects his own responsibility for building a church that fits him with a lame excuse about worries about becoming an ego maniac. If I might twist the words of my late president Kennedy, “Ask not what your church can do for you, but what you can do for your church.
5 · Lauren · 16 February 2010, 22:33
Tracey, I think that your playdate is true fellowship that should be part of church life. Instead on Sundays we get pulled away from fellowship by the formality of the order of events and rarely experience the fellowship of church.
Renee, do I need excuses not to go to church? What is the church anyway, and why do I need to go to a building on a Sunday morning to find it? We are the church, we who have God’s Spirit living in us. Wherever we gather, that is church. So my question is, why do we persist with gathering in such a boring way?
If we recognise that God is each believer, and we practice sharing Him and finding Him in each other, surely we would benefit. It may not happen easily now, but that’s because our culture has become accustomed to being told what to think about God, and we look for an expert to guide us in things we don’t understand instead of reading the Bible and seeking God for ourselves.
Sure there are some kooky ideas out there, but if we approach them with the Bible and the Spirit in us, we can discern matters for ourselves — even without a degree from a Bible college.
“I myself will tend my sheep and have them lie down,” declares the Sovereign Lord. Ezekiel 34:15
6 · Holly Sortman · 17 February 2010, 03:18
Lauren,
Thanks for the great post….we too didn’t go to church for years but had church in our home where we were not separated from our children but could teach them together. Anyways, we recently felt convicted about what“Sabbath” really means….I believe part of the reason the church seems so dull and dead is that we are not remembering the real Sabbath, which is Saturday, and keeping it holy. This was not just a law given to Moses for the people of Israel, it was given to us since the creation of the world….anyways, we now celebrate Sabbath on Saturdays and actually attend a Messianic Congregation where we have great teaching, food, and fellowship and we get to keep our children with us….I could go on further but just wanted to say that I liked your post!
7 · Carolyn · 17 February 2010, 10:45
I forget whether I’ve mentioned the book The End of Religion by Bruxy Cavey. Another good one on this topic is Rethinking Christ and Culture. (I can’t remember the author.) They both address the issue that “Christendom” as it has developed, especially in the west, is not really consistent with what Jesus taught and how he lived.
8 · Karen · 17 February 2010, 11:05
I see Sunday mornings as one small part of being in a church family. I think they are an important part, in being able to hear a man gifted in teaching telling us something of what he has learnt about the Bible and almost always I learn something new or deeper that I had not discovered before. Prayer is another good example of something that is not ‘fun’, but so worth the hard work and vital to our growth. But ‘church’ is so much more than an hour or two on a Sunday morning. In my situation, my local support community is made up of christian school mums, more than my friends from church, but I don’t see that as an issue. I don’t see that having other relationships outside of our particular church is competing with my loyalties or life in our church, but an enriching addition to my life. I do think he was a bit rude in his assumptions about pastors just being in it for the attention and power. Of course there are some out there, but it is not a job I would choose and I know many pastors who have given their lives to serving the people in their church, not just 9 to 5, but day and night, year in and year out. When it is done to honor God and serve His people, it is an extremely demanding job. Being a committed part of a community of believers can be hard, and discouraging at times, however I see it as just like being part of a physical family, there are times when it is hard work, or not ‘fun’, but I think it is worth the effort.
9 · Christie · 17 February 2010, 11:15
Definitely food for thought. I definitely don’t agree 100% but I also don’t disagree 100%. Too many thoughts rolling around in my brain. I will say that while church is not a building, having a place where other Christians congregate and can be found serves a roll in society. Maybe this topic will come up Thurs night? Both Mike and I found the article thought provoking.
10 · Brad · 17 February 2010, 15:31
I wish I hadn’t found this so late in the evening after such a long day! But I’ve loved reading all your thoughts. After being on the mission field for about 13 years, I’ve now been leading worship for 7 years at a church of between 800-900 people. I love the direction our church is going with an emphasis on doing life together in “life groups”. My hope is that people will continue to “get it” – that big public gatherings are such a small part of who we are as the Church. Presently, the vast majority of our folks still think church is something you do for 75 minutes on Sunday morning. They expect to sing their favorite songs, to have their children looked after. They expect to come late and leave on time. They expect to be comfortable,and if they’re not, then they’ll go somewhere else. Am I sounding a little cynical? Maybe. At the same time, God is at work in the lives of individuals, both in and through Life Groups. We are taking baby steps together, by His Spirit and for His glory.
You know, regardless of what we think or what our experience has been, the Church, the Bride is God’s idea and His number one plan. We’ve messed it up in a lot of ways, but one day we will be presented to Christ as His perfect Bride! I for one will continue to seek His face and simply bring as many as I can to Him. Help us Lord!
11 · Julianne · 17 February 2010, 16:51
I’m not just being agreeable for the sake of it but I had I formed the same view many years ago as a 12 year old. My parents who have been church devotees all their lives have been all but abandoned by church ‘friends’ since my fathers diagnosis of terminal cancer .. hardy the Christain way … is it?
My point being is that church people like others in society can let you down and disappoint you when you need them the most. You don’t need to go to church to have relationship with God or to achieve supportive and meaningful friendships.
12 · Anne · 23 February 2010, 13:22
I’m supposed to be falling asleep, so this isn’t going to be as coherent as I’d like. I completely understand what you mean about church being ‘boring’. I couldn’t stand Sundays at ICA. I always had a splitting headache on Sunday. My great rebellion was go to be liturgical and Anglican and from thenceforth I have LOVED church, even when the sermon is bad or the acolytes do the wrong thing or the choir sounds terrible. I don’t know completely why I love it, I just do. That said, Anglicanism has succumbed to the greatest heresy of this age—that the church, the ‘body of Christ’ is about us, is about ‘the community’ rather than being about God. As we have left the Episcopal Church and found safe haven with the wider Anglican Communion, I have come very clearly to see that church is a matter of obedience. I worship God on Sunday morning because I am commanded to (Don’t neglect the assembly of the faithful. Hebrews 10:32). I sit and stand and sing and listen as an action of obedience, whatever I feel about it (often I feel nothing). I attend to scripture personally, in group Bible Study and in the sermon because God calls me again and again to hear his voice in that particular way. When we first arrived at Good Shepherd it was all about ‘community’ and being a ‘family church’ and ‘coffee hour’ and ‘great community dinners’ but it was also spiritually dead. Now our common life is structured around the study of scripture and there is a tremendous amount of love and fellowship, but it flows out of the underlying committed action of the whole church reading and understanding God’s word together, and a chunk of that does happen on Sunday (although we have 5 groups that meet during the week). In other words, given my very very raw past with the Spiritually dead Episcopal church I’m very sensitive to this idea of ‘community’ that is not actively grounded in the substance of God’s word.
It sounds to me, honestly, like you’re in the wrong church. Its not supposed to be boring, and it doesn’t need to be a cult of personality. It should be exhilarating and wonderful to worship God with his faithful people on the day he rose again week after week after week. I know so many are running away from ‘rote worship’ or ‘meaningless liturgy’ but for me it has been my ‘salvation’ from boredom.
13 · Ben · 24 February 2010, 23:55
I’m not a fan of the sermon (though I’ve preached some myself in the past), and I’m ambivalent to most church services, though I do enjoy the services where we go now.
However, I see this post as more of an indictment against modern Western culture than on the church service per se. In places where there is a lot of daily community connection among believers, they seem to really enjoy having formal, communal worship together—in whatever form that may take. I too think Sunday morning church has been overrated, but it doesn’t have to be an either-or proposition; maybe the problem is bigger.
14 · Mirinda · 11 July 2010, 09:13
Tracey, this is my first visit to your blog and WOW! My husband and I have struggled with the ‘church’ issue for a few years now. After attending one for almost 4.5 years we decided to leave about 6 months ago. It all seems so fake- so click-ish- where we live. Community, learning…that post could have come from mine and my husband’s mouth! I don’t think it’s an excuse not to go to church but a dissatisfaction with how church ‘is done’. My feeling is that those who say they are loving it with everything they’ve got….well, it’s that they are one of the ones running the show. JMHO! And we go to serve…not to be served…and we still can’t find one where it feels ‘right’.
15 · Ethan Dawe · 13 July 2010, 04:57
This is about 99% – how I feel. I could have written this and not remembered it… And I am sure I will get responses such as renee – - – If you are not excited about going to Church you are just doing it wrong… Such a shame…
16 · Brendon · 11 February 2011, 17:02
I go to a full throttle, exciting church, yet it’s still all wrong. This article is 100 percent accu-rat!!
Bring back community. If a program doesn’t help you become best friends (no time!) then it fails, and God loves people ahead of everything else… why do we prioritise ceremony more than a good chat?
17 · Zoe · 1 March 2011, 18:01
You’ve been going to the wrong church! I’m sure the disciples of Jesus did not find him boring.
18 · Lusi · 11 September 2011, 15:01
Great post :-)
Community, connection, provoking one another to love and good deeds and most importantly, communing with The Most High and learning of Him and His Ways through the Truth of His Word…that’s what ‘church’ is for us…and it has mostly happened around our dinner table ;-)
Lusi x
19 · Katie · 16 October 2011, 22:40
I couldn’t agree more! Just last night (we attend a mega church so we have the option to attend a Saturday night service or 3 on Sunday!) my teenage unschoolers and I left 4 minutes before service started. My daughter said “can we just go to the park across the street and have an ice cream cone and talk?”! YES we can! So, on a park bench in October we had a very long discussion about church, God, Jesus and what we can do at home and with other Christian Unschoolers instead of being “in” church.
Thank you for sharing just when I needed it!