Somehow, when things are going well, it’s easier to blog. When we hit a hard patch, prattling on about the trivialities of motherhood or insignificant outings seems trite. Yes, we’re in a hard patch and are clawing our way out.

In anticipation of an attitude adjustment, here are some things I am thankful for:

  1. David and I are friends again (yay).
  2. Healthy children (those social dysfunctions/learning disabilities aren’t yet apparent).
  3. Our home. A palace it ain’t, but it’s ours. And with the grass cut, the backyard looks like a park.
  4. Somehow I managed to wangle Telstra into cutting my phone bill by 60% for the past month in anticipation of my cable installation in a week’s time.
  5. Losing weight. I am now back to my pre-babies weight and think I might keep limbo-ing to see how low I can go.
  6. The internet. A friend in my bored times.
  7. My mums’ group. Yesterday we watched Curious George on the big screen at church.
  8. Friends who read my blog & leave comments. It’s nice to know I have an expanding fan-base.
  9. Aïcha has only just woken up (it’s 7.30).
  10. Now that I’ve started making a list of things I’m thankful for, it’s hard to stop. I keep coming back wanting to add more items!

Comparison of Aïcha and Brioni, each shown at six months old
I've been meaning to put up this photo for a while, so everyone can see how different my two girls look! I can't see much of a resemblance between them. They're both six months old in these photos.

After spending some time on Tuesday with some ladies from my church (Grace Bible Church), I am finally able to articulate why I don’t feel that I fit in.

They are so formal, even in “open discussion”.

I mean, this is a group of ladies who know each other’s families quite well, and in the discussion, one lady disdained from naming names, instead relying on the terms “my husband” or “my child”. We all know who her husband and her child are, why couldn’t she just say D or K?

This level of formality is contagious, especially coming from a “leader”, and means that any discussion will never really expose the deep matters of the heart. It also explains why I got into so much trouble last year after I vocalised some dissenting opinions (& stirred the pot by playing the devil’s advocate — oops!).

I am so thankful that I’ve found a local group of ladies (based at another church) with whom I can talk about the real issues without fear of retribution. This is my Wednesday mums’ group, and the ladies are all lovely, serving each other & caring for each other.