A new story about food
30 July 14
When nine-year-old Aisha started crying in the supermarket, I knew I was doing something wrong. The fact that she was crying in frustration over yoghurt choices made me realise that I was writing a story into her life that was harming her rather than helping her. So I stopped collected myself, comforted Aisha, and then created a new dominant story about the food we choose to purchase and consume.
Ever since we visited a dairy farm in 2011, I’ve felt uncomfortable about conventional dairy products. The practices I saw (especially the ways the cows and calves were treated) directly converted to me being vegan for a season, which in turn led to Brioni adopting veganism at age five.
Since this time, I’ve felt reluctance to buy any dairy except, curiously, cheese unless it is labelled as organic. My influencing story is that conventional dairy foods are the product of unhappy cows, and I don’t want to support that industry nor partake of food which was produced inhumanely. For food is energy.
We understand that all matter really is energy, and I believe that in generations to come, we’ll understand this science much better. When energy goes into our body, it produces energy, and I believe that foods that are composed of better energy come from meat that didn’t die traumatically or from plant-based foods that are closer to their living state. On this principle on this story I’ve guided the girls away from conventional meat and processed foods and asked them to choose food that was alive more recently.
I’ve also been told powerful stories about the nutrient content of certain foods, and this affects my belief about what is good food and what is a poor choice for our bodies. However, with an underlying principle that “living food is better”, I’d prefer to offer my children real fruit and vegetables over a multivitamin tablet any day.
More important than the nutrient content or the “living food” aspect of what we eat is the energetic content. Since food is essentially energy, I want to choose foods with “good” energy over foods with “bad” energy, and this is a subjective judgement, especially if I take into consideration the likelihood that food energy can be intentionally changed.

Critical to my belief in the changeable energy of foods are the artworks of Masaru Emoto who photographed the obvious change in water crystals after exposing them to specific music, prayers, words and photographs. Emoto’s photographs show that blessing water creates a noticeable difference in the water-crystal formation, something that religions have known for millennia! It’s not difficult to extrapolate that since water comprises such a large percentage of our body and our foods the structure of the molecules that we put into ourselves can be changed by peaceful thoughts or gratitude.

We read the labels on products and decide for ourselves whether something has “better” energy based on what we know of its production process. Is it organic? Free-range? Fair trade? From a permaculture establishment? Locally produced? Family owned? All these are factors that I’ve been sharing with the girls as we shop and travel, and they’ve guided our purchasing decisions in ways that are less economical but I believe are better for us, for our environment and for a sustainable future.
As always, a legalistic rule is easier to implement than assessing everything individually, and for me organic dairy was that rule. The girls know which brands of yoghurt are organic, and after browsing the flavours available in the two brands on offer on the shelves this week Aisha said that she didn’t like any of them very much. I know Aisha loves yoghurt, and I became impatient and asked her to choose one anyhow, “but it has to come from happy cows”, I said. And this is how the tears started.
Instead of assessing this particular food yoghurt by its specific energetic attraction to Aisha, I was allowing a label to dictate what was best for her. Although I don’t actually know anything about how an organic dairy farm works differently from a conventional dairy farm (we haven’t yet visited one, but I’d like to!), I had created a story that simply said “organic dairy is better”, and so that was what we bought. I was forcing Aisha to choose a flavour that she didn’t really like because of my dominant story.
Her dramatic reaction was necessary for me to realise how foolish I had become. In repenting to Aisha, I acknowledged that what I was saying was silly; I was saying that even a yoghurt she didn’t like the taste of was better than one she did like. I was completely ignoring the energetic factor of the food the gratitude she would feel for what she was eating and how that would affect her body in real ways. When I explained all this to Aisha, she replied gently, “Yes, it’s silly if I don’t like it, how will I get good energy from eating it?”
With the whole dairy aisle now available to her, it was much easier for Aisha to select a flavour she preferred. I’ll continue to encourage wise choices based on the principles of organic, locally-produced, family-owned, fair-trade, etc, but I’ll know now to not let that interfere with the personal energy we imbue into our food when we feel truly grateful for it.

Thank you for the lesson, Aisha. I’m so thankful that you’re continuing to teach me so much about myself and the world around me, and I’m sorry I made you cry.
1 · Ben · 31 July 2014, 06:59
Oh the lessons I have learned the hard way like this. Kudos on being open to change! :-)
2 · Jennifer F. · 31 July 2014, 07:22
3 · Margie · 31 July 2014, 07:49
No 9-year-old should have to have a complete meltdown in public in order to get her mother’s attention. It’s disgraceful that you put Aisha in that position. She should be able to talk to you, and you should listen. All the time.
That does not mean that she is always right. She’s a child and she’s still learning. But she needs to know that you listen and take her concerns seriously before it reaches the point of a public meltdown.
4 · Annie · 31 July 2014, 08:14
Wow, thank you for this post. I have been where you are in terms of certain foods, applying a rule about what I am willing to buy, rather than assessing each choice each time. I have in recent years relaxed that a lot, but there are times when I still worry about what the children are choosing. Your ideas about good energy coming in part from the thoughts we have about the food make so much sense and will help me feel more relaxed about allowing happy, grateful choices for us all (myself included) rather than insisting we unhappily eat something I’ve previously decided is ok.
Thank you for your blog, I always look forward to reading it
5 · Louise · 31 July 2014, 08:56
Margie – you weren’t there. Your criticism is based solely on your judgement of the situation. A 9 year old cries in public, something that happens frequently with children of all ages. The difference here is that Lauren listened to Aisha, and I tell you what, working in a supermarket myself, if more parents listened to their child like Lauren, there would be less irritable children at work!
Lauren learned a valuable lesson from Aisha. Adults often forget that children are people too. They see them as beings to control, manipulate (even with good intentions), teach (even if it is an opinion and not fact), and they don’t see what they can learn from the children themselves.
Try to be a little less judgemental, Margie.
6 · Xin · 31 July 2014, 09:10
Stop neglecting your children, you horrible human being
7 · lily boot · 31 July 2014, 09:26
Honestly, before I get to chatting about the beauty of good dairy, I just have to comment – some people say the battiest things in your comments. I can’t even imagine thinking I was so wise and mighty that I could judge the entirety of another person’s existence based on the tiny glimpse that is offered on the internet!!!! What’s more – if such people practiced what they preached, they would never make such comments. Truly bizarre.
Anyways – I just wanted to offer my two bob on dairy – when you’re in Victoria next, Schulz’s offer a beautiful organic yoghurt and I’ve met some of the people from this lovely farm in the south west of Victoria and they give me great confidence that they are farming in an ethical manner – they love their cows and their products and it shows. Their milk is also exquisite – especially the “bath milk” :-) Another nice one is Barambah from south west Queensland – beautiful yoghurt and beautiful milk – again, a lovely family farm that has dedicated itself to following ethical, humane and environmentally sound principles. Both farms have great websites that Aisha might enjoy looking at. Then – when you’re next in southern New South Wales look out for Tilba Milk – oh my! It’s divine – as is their yoghurt and you would LOVE their 3 year vintage cheddar – family farm – I know the family who run it – their farm is beautiful and they are lovely people and so dedicated to their animals and products. And another thing – none of these products are available at the supermarket – I find looking in local fruit and veg shops, butchers (e.g. Pambula butcher sells the Tilba range), “health food” stores, and small IGA styled stores are a much better bet for finding locally, organically and ethically produced dairy. The supermarkets just don’t value it – obvious from the toyshop quality to their dairy cabinet.
8 · Susie · 31 July 2014, 09:39
Love the way you are always questioning things it’s beautiful and what a lovely example to your children xxxxoooo
9 · Truly · 31 July 2014, 09:54
Have you tried non animal rennet cheese?
There’s some nice soy Cheeses too.
10 · Lauren · 31 July 2014, 10:18
Truly,
In Australia, most cheeses are made with non-animal rennet. When we became vegetarian in 2010, they were rare, but in the last couple of years microbial rennet has become the norm. :)
None of us really like soy cheese, although we periodically try one to see if our tastes have changed. ;)
Love,
Lauren
11 · Karen Lee · 31 July 2014, 11:02
It can be hard to balance our own ethics in terms of food choices, and that of our children, who often have quite different ethics and preferences, as you discovered. :) I also preciously used to strongly lead the children (alright, insist) towards food choices that adhered to my ethics and beliefs, but fortunately for us all, I, too, learned to place a higher value on what mattered to them for their bodies, than on what mattered to me.
We have ended up (at this stage) with one vegetarian with a deep passion for animals and their well-being but who regularly chooses processed food, another who chooses high raw vegan for health, not ethical, reasons, and two who consume meat, dairy and pretty much anything else they can get their hands on. ;)
It is a much more peaceful household when everyone’s choices are respected, hey. I’m glad you found a new way of seeing the situation with Aisha’s choice.
Many parents would just dig their heels in and demand their own way, simultaneously judging their child for the very same thing. Many parents use their power over their children to get what they want, forgetting that what they probably want more, underneath it all is love, respect and happiness.
Aisha is blessed to have you as her Mum. :)
12 · Hellena Post · 31 July 2014, 11:51
Margie – it’s disgraceful that you should project your judgements and show your repressed shadow in a public comments forum. Save that for the other haters, there’s places for that negativity that aren’t here.
And Lauren, I’ve been loving being witness to your total presence and availability to your girls, and how you all learn from each other. Such a joy to spend more time with you all!
And so awesome to see all the other positive folk attracted to you and your family too :)
13 · Louise · 31 July 2014, 12:55
People believe this crap?
14 · Yeshe · 31 July 2014, 14:39
Trolls. People who deliberately comment on things to arise negative feelings in others, are a sad symptom of our crumbling society and makes me wish so hard that parents were cool enough to talk to their kids about ethical choices like you are Lauren.
We a vegetarian and I hate it. I wish I could be vegan but I am limited by certain factors, one of which is my greed. But when it comes to kids, sometimes we have to let go and let them find their own way, and make their own decisions.
For me I find it a struggle every day because Lily loves processed food and I have to give her multivitamins because she only eats two vegetables (she eats plenty of fruit). But I have to respect her choices as an individual.
A well written piece on this subject (as always) I appreciate the time and effort you make, it helps me to read about good parenting practices.
15 · Amanda · 31 July 2014, 15:14
Lauren I think you are so caring to see past your own bias and listen with your heart, hearing what Aisha was trying to convey. The tears are not a sign of an exasperated child, but one who probably didn’t want to go against the grain perhaps.. or who didn’t want to disappoint her Mum. Tears fall easy sometimes and shows a sensitive heart.
We live not far from the Atherton Tableland area in North Queensland.. we love buying organic, fresh and cruelty-free-produced milk (and dairy products) from Mungalli Creek Dairy.. it tastes real and has the lovely little cream top in every bottle.. just like I remember from my childhood when milk was delivered to the door by the Milko. :)))
http://www.mungallicreekdairy.com.au/
16 · Iris · 31 July 2014, 16:01
Holy hell. You’re so determined to have your children avoid oppression, stereotypes and the need to conform, while pressuring them to conform to your standards the whole time. No child should feel so conflicted by her parent’s lifestyle versus her own wants, that she cannot make a choice and instead bursts into tears. It doesn’t matter how much lovey dovey pseudoscience you pretend to understand, you are fucking up those girls big time. It is not cute or endearing that when you are able to stay in a house or hotel that one of them needs to make a bed in the closet in order to feel safe… It tells of anxiety and insecurity. The health ramifications of a 5 year old child being vegan is terrifying, and I highly doubt she understands the ethical, health or environmental reasonings behind veganism, but is just trying to please you. Their response to the uniformed school children you encountered a little while ago screams a complete lack of social understanding and how to behave in the rest of society outside your rainbow gatherings. The way they responded to your friend’s daughter playing school and teaching them, as well as the more structured bedtime suggests they’re craving security, predictability and structure in their lives. This topsy turvy rollercoaster, guided by your whims, hormones and whoever will let you sap off them for free for a while is damaging these precious girls so badly. Their brother was killed at the hands of their father for fuck sake, whether by accident or intent Elijah died because of David’s doing, there is no way they cannot be aware of that. Now their father is locked up, they rarely see him, and their mother is having another baby to someone else entirely, another brother who they will also have to lose. Followed by your return to bed with severe PND, they will be desolate and grieving another brother gone, and their mother inaccessible again. For the love of everything, pull your head out of your ass, take some fucking antidepressants, admit your life sucks without your son and your husband, and let your daughters do the same. Stop fucking up these beautiful girls. I shudder to think of their future if they stay in your grifted gypsy.
17 · Hellena Post · 31 July 2014, 16:28
Oh Iris. Your shadow is leaking. Do you actually have children yourself? Or are you one of those ‘experts’ without personal experience? Why do you feel such a need to publicly show other people how miserable, narrow minded, judgemental, and victimised by your unrealistic expectations you are? How do you think you come across, dictating all these actions and telling complete strangers what to do, when you haven’t even met them, and only have a tiny little window into their lives through a blog?? Makes you look negatively obsessed with a complete stranger. How long have you spent trawling her blog and adding up all the ‘evils’ you see? Don’t you ever wish you had a life? I for one support you to go out and get one, and stop dragging on the tail of those who actually have one, so you can stop being so damn morose and miserable in the little hells you dream up in your head. Ever thought of a future writing horror stories? Sounds like you’d be perfect for the job :)
18 · Leah · 31 July 2014, 18:37
Hi Lauren. This is a really interesting topic and clearly arouses lots of passions in people! As a mama early in my unschooling journey (eldest is 4), I would love to hear more about this. How you balance things like guiding your children towards your family values (e.g. No cruelty to animals) while maintaining the child’s right to choose what they eat. I struggle with this on a daily basis, I would love to trust my kids’ food choices but I have strong food preferences (whole foods, organic, no processed foods) yet my kids love to have marshmallows, sweets, etc etc. I would love to hear more about your experiences and what you have learnt in terms of how to navigate food choices in the context of unschoolers where children have a lot of autonomy. Thanks in advance!
19 · Sam · 31 July 2014, 23:02
I am so grateful that wise people can pause and learn from their children, and stop to share those salient points with others, so they too can be reminded to do the same. And not just from your own children, but those of others.
Thank you Lauren. I am a lazy seat-of-your-pants-Mum trying to do the best by my kids regardless of my feelings for their food options. And I still get cranky yoghurt dilemmas :D There is always a compromise. I much prefer the thought of happy cows and happy kids in tandem. I see no harm what so ever in greater understanding from my children in knowing where their food comes from and what it means to harvest it. So you have inspired me to try to bring more meaning into what they eat.
I also hope they are not tainted by judgement and conditioning around them, and are smart and confident enough to have faith in their own understanding of their world. If I succeed in that, despite my own short comings, then I am content.
20 · karen · 31 July 2014, 23:13
Oh Helena, you sound just like Iris, all judgmental and narrow minded. How do you think you come across?
21 · Margie · 1 August 2014, 00:35
Louise – Of course my criticism is based on my judgment of the situation. That’s how life works. Lauren starts this entry by saying, “When nine-year-old Aisha started crying in the supermarket, I knew I was doing something wrong. The fact that she was crying in frustration over yoghurt choices made me realise that I was writing a story into her life that was harming her rather than helping her.” That tells me that Lauren does not routinely listen to what Aisha has to say. It took a complete meltdown in public to get her attention.
The fact that other 9-year-olds might cry at the store doesn’t mean it’s a good thing. It means that there are more parents who need to be better at parenting.
Hellena – What is disgraceful about saying a child shouldn’t need to have a public meltdown in order to be taken seriously?
Leah – your 4 year old is not going to the store by himself/herself, so any taste for marshmallows was cultivated by you. Leave the kids at home when you shop, buy a variety of nutritious foods, and let the kid choose from that once you’re home.
22 · Joanna · 1 August 2014, 07:20
Could you not give Aisha some privacy about this episode? Does it have to be paraded worldwide to prove what a brilliant mother you are? Must it serve your ends, to garner sycophantic praise?
Aisha is unable, as are all of your children, to give full, informed consent to the rape of their souls in this way. The internet is forever, Lauren. Do you think they will never look back and wish you had allowed them to live their lives unassailed by the comments of the many? Would you have consented to have your every little issue dissected like this? For all love, give your children back their privacy and allow them to reveal what they choose, not to be spotlighted like this.
They are souls in their own right, not props on a stage.
(Yes, I too have daughters. No, I would never have subjected them, unconsenting, to this ignominy.)
23 · Lauren · 1 August 2014, 08:13
Thank you for your concern for Aisha, Joanna. I spoke about this lesson with her and asked her permission to share it online. She was happy to let me do so and posed with her yoghurt so I could take a photo to accompany the text.
So much happens in our lives that I don’t share. But this is one story we were all happy to record on the blog.
24 · Iris · 1 August 2014, 11:00
Oh Helena. Your mindless sycophant is showing. While rushing to defend Lauren from comments that see through her bullshit, you haven’t actually disputed any of the concerns people have raised about the girls’ welfare, only insulted them for daring to challenge her sparkly world view. Is that because you have nothing nice to say about her parenting that would refute these claims? Perhaps, on some level, you know that the negative comments are true and that those girls really are at risk? Or maybe, it’s because you are not so loving and intelligent as you’d like to think, but at heart, you are just the same as any internet troll, unable to form a decent argument and so, resort to name calling? Whatever the reason, sycophantic nonsense “your shadow is leaking” (I’m sorry, what? A shadow is not a substance and cannot ‘leak’) does not make Lauren’s behaviour seem any less dangerous, deluded, neglectful, or downright vain, and does not portray her girls her girls as being at any less risk of serious physical or mental harm.
25 · Kim · 1 August 2014, 11:39
I agree with Iris. I understand the worry that is coming through in your posts Iris. Lauren seems to have this outlook that not only the bizarre degree of drama that her daughters have been exposed to in their little lives is simply life and you roll dreamily through it but she adds more and more drama to these girls lives. She turns yogurt choice into an ethical crisis, tears and all, on top of having to cope with a lifestyle (the gypsy lifestyle) that is already an extreme choice for the children to cope with. How much drama can these girls deal with? In your very complex teasing apart and disection and obsessive examination of everything about life Lauren do you ever think about degrees of drama? Have you thought about how as people we simply can be over exposed to drama. You are obviously someone with a very busy mind that needs to pull everything apart and overthink everything but you might like to think about the possibility that your girls are possibly being barraged by your dramatic life approach. Maybe tears from a 9 year old over yogurt is a spill over of tension and a warning bell that you are giving this girl TOO MUCH TOO PROCESS. I can’t even process their lives and all of the philosophies and views and stimuli you barrage them with and then on top of that tell them to process it all themselves, come out with their own conclusions (a challenge when your front lobal area is still developing) and while doing all of that also process their family breakdown, family death and when mum decides you’ve had enough time to do that she serves up another major life situation by having and giving another sibling away. I’d cry at the yogurt stand too after all of this and I’m an adult.
26 · Susie · 1 August 2014, 23:19
Wow so many people commenting negatively. Show me a parent who says their child has never had a meltdown in public and I’ll show you a liar! And a parent who has never made a mistake? Doesn’t exist! What about a parent that does not impart their ideologies onto their children? We all do!
27 · Iris · 2 August 2014, 10:42
It’s not that one of her children had a public meltdown, or that like most parents, she is passing on her ideologies. It’s that Aisha felt so pressured to conform to Lauren’s standards that she cried over YOGHURT. A simple choice of flavours was so stressful for a 9 year old, that she cried? There is something bigger and more stressful at play in that poor child’s heart.
28 · Em · 2 August 2014, 12:36
I am always amazed at the comments you get.
Either loving or hate filled.
The people that are talking so bad are wrong in every way. I hope the children don’t see what they say. :(
I am glad you continue to blog despite them. <3
29 · Kay · 2 August 2014, 13:08
Hi Lauren,
I just have a question: Being a vegan, does Brioni eat fortified and enriched foods and/or take supplements? Or does she try to obtain most of her vitamins etc from fruit, veg, grains etc
I don’t know much about vegan diets but I was a vegetarian for around 10 years and supplemented with vitamins and minerals (particularly iron) during this time, so I’m really grateful that synthetic vitamins are available so that each person can make food choices that work for them (and abstain from some foods if they wish).
I wish that I could thrive on a vegetarian diet, but I’ve come to accept that my mind and body feel much better when I include meat in my diet. But as I mentioned before, I’m respectful of each person’s decisions regarding food and acknowledge that each person is different and one person’s ‘optimal diet’ may not work for the next person :-)
30 · Pam Arnold · 2 August 2014, 17:01
I love the way you are raising your daughters to be free thinkers and not conform to what others have deemed to be the right way to be parented. They are going to grow up to be thoughtful, intelligent, and happy individuals. I would love to learn more of your spiritual belief system. Our family is really feeling drained with the evangelical community and are seeking some thoughts about how to worship without being a part of a religion. Keep up the good parenting.
31 · Rob · 2 August 2014, 18:21
Meh…all of our kids, regardless of the parenting philosophy or method will have a meltdown now and again. For Lauren and Aisha it happened over yoghurt. What-the-fuck-evah! Lauren took it onboard, and has gained some valuable insights from the experience…how many others of us can claim the same?
32 · Helena · 2 August 2014, 18:43
@iris my child has had meltdowns over way less than selecting a yoghurt flavour shrug I must just be a bad parent
33 · Mary · 4 August 2014, 12:01
I have seen this research and art by Masaru Emoto and it is relevant and beautiful, much like your musings : ).
34 · namaste · 9 August 2014, 14:37
Lauren, I hope I am wrong. I may be. But I would caution you to WAKE UP out of this surreal world you have created for yourself, and to find some sense of actual grounding for your sweet children. You are clearly a “hippie” at heart, but “home is where ever we are, all the time” is no way to ground children. Unschooling has its merits. Open-mindedness has its place, too. But this complete lack of any genuine grounding for your children will NOT likely equip them to make their own place in the world. It’s YOUR place, Lauren, and you’re forcing them to exist in it. I’m so. very. sad. for your children. Your daughter’s stress came through loud and clear in a yogurt aisle, and the universe was trying to shout out to you that this is about MUCH more than yogurt. She has NO VOICE. You left it at choice of yogurt and she was trying to communicate SO much more. GET A GRIP, Lauren, before your children grow, flee, and resent. I realize how harsh I sound, but I genuinely care about your children and their futures. You have GOT to wake up, in the words of Anne Voskamp. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GhOUaszMGvQ
35 · Lauren · 11 August 2014, 10:31
so many quick to judge on somebody else’s life. your girls are beautiful and its evident your a brilliant mother and listen to your children, something many forget x