Make your own adventure
18 July 13
Tonight’s adventures surprised me after an otherwise normal sort of day for us. We arranged to meet at the house of local homeschoolers. It’s always a pleasure to meet up with new friends — some have read about us online, and others know nothing about our family. I assume nothing and wait to see what happens.
The house was a beautifully renovated suburban home in Fremantle. Our girls played mostly among themselves, but I heard the story of another guest — a woman who was feeling quite lost within herself. She had run out of passion, lost her energy and perhaps didn’t know where to start to find it again.
When I offered to follow her home and help with something that was weighing on her mind, I knew that an extra hand around the house would help her feel better. What I didn’t count on was that our children would join together to play so effortlessly, that we would connect on a much more heart-felt level and that our family would be directly inspired to continue our pursuit of musical knowledge.

Suburbia continues to surprise me. I may look like a hippy with my flower-strewn bus, beaded dreadlocks and barefoot children, but I’m simply the obvious one. As we travel, I discover that more and more “normal” houses are populated by cultural subversives. They’re young people and families who are re-thinking their priorities, reconsidering their allocation of time and resources and are making a conscious effort to buy food and products that are ecologically sustainable.
These suburban hippies understand the possibilities that life has to offer. They recognise the relationships that reflect their own strengths and weaknesses back at them. They’re constantly assessing themselves, questioning their motives and — somehow — feeling trapped in a life that is not what they originally aspired to.
I remember feeling that same entrapment. I remember feeling frustrated that the community we sought was not forthcoming and that the trappings of a steady income and well-furnished home weren’t fulfilling. I remember feeling that I was in a holding pattern, circling over the landing strip that would allow me to alight in a brand-new life where I could pursue adventures and invest myself fully. I felt that life was full of necessary evil restrictions — we were waiting for the right time, for more money, for a coveted opportunity or the perfect stroke of luck.
“Your time is limited, don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma, which is living the result of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of other’s opinion drown your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition, they somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.” — Steve Jobs
Then I woke up and realised that I was living now, and I didn’t want the life I lived to be a boring one where my children would end up in the same sad, grey world that I inhabited! I decided to trust in the unknown, believing that the future was good if I invested good into my present. I decided to start living passionately in the present — joyously, with more music, dancing and colour.
Leaving the comfort of our home, we stepped out and started pursing adventures. We started talking to people — everyone! People are friendly, we soon discovered, and these serendipitous encounters led to opportunities for more adventures.
Life became rich and multi-coloured. Relationships became real and meaningful. We weren’t talking about renovations and shopping bargains anymore. We were discussing long-held fears, barriers to love and engrained conditioning. We shared our personal journeys and met others who were forging their own individual paths.
“Though no one can go back and make a brand new start, anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending.” — Carl Bard
Now our lives have snowballed into a huge adventure. Yes, it has not been the future I envisioned four years ago, but we’ve met so many wonderful people and heard their inspiring stories. Surely some of this will rub off onto our girls. I pray that our travels will empower our girls to make their own adventures and change the world — one relationship at a time — just as it has for me!
1 · Fiona S · 19 July 2013, 06:44
thank you for this story, I realise now its how I felt and possibly still feel to an extent, whilst I do not have the courage to travel as freely as you have done, I have started living true to myself and my life has become richer.
2 · Leisa · 19 July 2013, 12:49
I too, feel as though I am in that holding pattern you describe. I can envisage that life I want and yet…I feel as though I am constrained by “have to’s” – the job that provides me with the money to simply eat, have a roof over our heads and pay bills. I long to just let go and trust that all will be provided and we will have sufficient for each day. Reading your posts give me hope that this is possible. Thank you.
3 · Sian · 20 July 2013, 13:28
Hi Lauren. I cannot remember if you have mentioned it before or not. What have you done with your belongings? Not the things you have with you for day to day use but keepsakes, favourite piece of furniture etc. Are they in storage in your shed, somewhere else or have you not kept much?
Just wondering how you have dealt with it as ‘things’ have always been a bit of a struggle for me, holding onto too much probably. I know it has limited my freedom to do some of the things I’d rather been doing.
4 · Fran · 20 July 2013, 15:26
Hi Lauren. I implore you to research the didgeridoo from an indigenous perspective as it is a highly sacred instrument. Women (and therefore girls) are NOT permitted to play it. I hope you decide to respect this in future.
5 · Jodie · 20 July 2013, 19:48
Fran that is not entirely true, there are different beliefs in different tribal areas and sometimes it depends on the age of the girl/woman and more often that not it is to do with ceremony, often only men can play didgeridoo in ceremony but it can be played by women in a community/private sense. Best to seek advice dependent on the community you are in or keep it for private settings.
I love that we all have our own paths and our own ways of being
6 · Alex · 20 July 2013, 20:09
I have heard that this does differ from place to place, as Jodie mentioned, but the didgeridoo is definitely off limits for women in the Perth area.
7 · Kristine · 21 July 2013, 05:40
Lauren,
I just happened upon your blog and found it both inspiring and heart-breaking. I am so sorry for the tragedy that you’ve been living with the past year. I am also so grateful for how public you’ve been with your lifestyle choices – unchurching, unschooling, and the process of life as a series of sparkling adventures are beautiful philosophies and such a valuable mirror for others with similar conservative / authoritarian / judgement based backgrounds. You’re a great example, just as you were to an underclassman like me at ICA when you were student body president in that otherwise paternalistic culture.
8 · KL · 25 July 2013, 11:29
Maybe it was a gentle reminder that everyone and everything is not as it or they appear. Conservative doesn’t always mean “authoritarian” or “judgmental” just as hippy and free-range certainly doesn’t always mean tolerant. Sometimes being conservative just means that a person is more reserved and prefers to be more private with their feelings because that is who they are organically. I feel very authentic to myself and to others and especially in my relationship with God. I live in the suburbs, send some of my kids to school and homeschool others based on what THEY need since they are each individuals with their own preferences. I love symmetry and order but I am truly at peace with myself and feel no need whatsoever to conform to any group, ideaology, expectations of others, etc. I listen to my own drummer and follow her beat. To thine own self be true.
9 · Sian · 25 July 2013, 14:00
I really like your comment KL.