My thing with red
10 September 12
After Elijah’s death, friends and family members who wanted to demonstrate solidarity with me wore red. Online friends posted pictures of themselves and their children in red clothes and hats, and someone coined the Twitter hashtag #wear_red. Naturally, journalists wanted to understand where the red fetish had originated, and as that was one of the few quirks that I haven’t previously written about, I was asked about it several times.
One optimistic journalist from the local paper sat outside the front of the house in her car, waiting patiently in the hopes that I would emerge and explain it all to her, but I never did. Not only was I refusing to talk to the media, but I hadn’t properly analysed my own red wardrobe and didn’t have a satisfactory answer to her question.
Why do I wear red? It’s just something that I do, something that I am. I’m “the red blogger” — a nickname David affectionately bestowed upon me.

I can remember looking at my selection of clothes that travelled with us when we started our small loop of northern NSW and Queensland’s outback in 2010, and red was the prevalent colour. Once travelling full-time, you learn to pare down your personal effects to the bare minimum, and my wardrobe quickly lost the clothes that didn’t match the majority of the others. Soon it was almost all red, and I liked looking back at pictures of myself in Mt Morgan or Carnarvon National Park and seeing myself as a crimson splash against the sometimes pale landscape of Australia’s natural beauty.
At the start of 2011, when we decided to keep travelling full-time, I asked David if he minded if I adopted an OCD approach to wearing red. I’ve long displayed obsessive compulsive tendencies in housekeeping matters, and these have slowly eroded away with the arrival of children, moving out of a house and deliberately trying to free myself from the shackles to which I was bound.
Colour-coding was not something new to me. I had arranged the children’s books in a beautiful rainbow of spines, organised my hanging work clothes according to their hues and even hung the laundry on the lines according to their colours. My pegs were colour-coded — green on the inside lines, yellow on the outside, my crockery were all white, and I constantly carried the Plaintain colour swatch in my purse to allow me to find home accessories that were the exact-same shade as the green David had painted on the walls.
So now I’m red. It’s the colour of power, of passion, of Valentines, good luck in China and blood. I wonder how much my colour of choice is subconscious, and how much is a product of the compliments I’ve received while wearing it.
It’s ironic that I receive the most favourable comments while wearing red because I was always told as a girls to not wear any shade of crimson — because it clashes with my hair. Ludicrous, of course, but this was the same foundational fashion advice that taught me “blue and green should never be seen”.
Left alone at boarding school to try to find my own sense of style, I was a victim to the popular taunts of the time, and since my freckles already made me stand out among the dark-skinned Africans and the even-toned North Americans, I didn’t want to make a spectacle of myself any longer. I wanted to blend in, to merge with the background, to remain unremarkable except for my mental feats. So as a girl, I wore blue and green because they were safe colours, though at some point I even gave up the green when my sister Renee appropriated it has her identifying colour.
As an adult, I moved very slowly into reds. First I flirted with plums and oranges. But there really aren’t very nice clothes in orange colours, and although I didn’t to be distinctive, I didn’t want to look daggy either. The orange quickly moved into coral, and after birthing daughters, I even started wearing pink. Gradually, I acquired more red — it matched the colour of the pram and other baby accessories I had, and so even then my OCD was a driving force. I wanted to match, even if it went against the taunts of my childhood.
There was a specific point at which I realised that I needed to raise my daughters without passing onto them the foolish style constraints that tormented me, and so I started to give myself similar freedoms. I no longer had to wear the items that featured in the department-store catalogs. In fact, upon reflecting on the women around me, the ones that didn’t try to wear contemporary fashions were the most stylish.
All my life I’ve tried to be stylish by imitating others who look good. Now I’ve discovered that the women who look the best are the ones who confidently display their own personal style, and I’m happy to make my own up — in red.
Once I wanted to fit in — so badly! Now I embrace red as a brilliant option with which to stand out from the monochromatic crowds around me.
So, going back to the journalist’s question, why do I wear red? I’m not really certain. Others can psychoanalyse it to their heart’s content. For me, it’s just something that I enjoy and will continue to do as long as it keeps being fun.
What about you? In what ways have you created a distinctive style for yourself?
1 · Christie · 11 September 2012, 23:45
I don’t have a distinct style but for what it’s worth, I’ve always thought red suited you perfectly :).
2 · benevolence · 12 September 2012, 00:00
I always thought you chose to wear red because you are so proud of your beautiful red hair. All the red heads that I know seem to get a sense of identity from their hair colour, almost as if they belong to a very exclusive club. A club I would love to be a part of. Although like you, age has allowed me to feel comfortable and content at .club mousy brown. Lauren , what are you looking at so intently in this photo?
3 · Erin · 12 September 2012, 00:04
I loved reading this, partly because I can strongly identify as I’m also a bit OCD with certain things, particularly colours. As you mentioned, I too have had to let go of some of this with the arrival of children and a busier lifestyle. However, I still find myself arranging things either in rainbow order, or in their colour groupings. It’s when I’m taking extra time hanging clothes out on the line while attempting to line them up in appropriate rainbow order that I wonder if I’m taking it a bit too far! :) I’ve also experienced a similar style epiphany to yours right after turning 30. I found myself no longer caring what everyone else was wearing, and have started creating my own clothing, usually by upcycling and tie-dyeing, and am absolutely loving it. My favourite colour combination is moss green and plum purple, and I wear it a lot! I think, as you said, that having fun with what you wear is so important. Stressing about style is not fun; being creative is!
4 · Rachel · 12 September 2012, 00:18
I had always wondered (assumed?) if you wore red to remind yourself you’re covered in the blood of Jesus.
I do have a distinctive style, I guess. I identify with way too many subcultures to have a wardrobe that makes sense. I wear pieces that evoke the punk, Goth, hippie, pinup, and Victorian cultures, to name a few. I used to worry about making each outfit represent only one of these, but now it’s all mix-and-match.
5 · Janet Costello · 12 September 2012, 00:25
I love that you gave us an insight into the ‘red’. I have no style, none whatsoever! I wear what I have that is available and clean and fits ok. I toy with the idea of developing a style and sticking with it – a uniform of sorts – a hate fashion and loathe clothes shopping. I am always torn.
6 · Lauren Fisher · 12 September 2012, 01:03
Benevolence,
I’m looking at the phone/camera! LOL.
Love,
Lauren.
7 · Sandy Westermann · 12 September 2012, 01:03
As much as I try to integrate other clothing into my wardrobe I find myself wearing the same thing over and over and over again. Mostly cargo shorts, tan or black and then a brown, red or orange or pink tank top. Then as the weather gets cooler, cargo pants and T shirt, brown, red, orange or pink. As it gets cooler still, adding a brown or black wool sweater, though I do have a favorite in green with pine trees. I keep saying I will go through my clothes and just donate what I don’t wear. Perhaps when we return from the beach. Either way it will be done sometime before we move. I get what you are saying about having everything matching everything. I am still trying to get over having a spare this or that that I might need. It seems my color (or colour) changes with life’s phases. I adopted the red spectrum when going through some major life changes a few years ago. Prior to that I was on the green spectrum and also spent some time with purple. Having color phases is nothing new to me though. As a child I remember only eating foods of a certain color for a while and then switching to another color. This post reminds me I saw a thing on colors on a friends fb the other day. Going now to dig for it to see what that was about.
8 · Jess · 12 September 2012, 01:22
Great post, Lauren. Thanks for sharing.
In the last year I’ve purposefully started wearing a “rainbow” wardrobe and accessories for the simple and practical reason:
Everything matches! I love it!
9 · benevolence · 12 September 2012, 01:46
Oh dear, I am a goose. I thought someone was taking a photo of you doing some tiling, lol. I see now that you are obviously looking at your camera :-)
10 · Hil · 12 September 2012, 02:02
I thought the red was your way of stepping outside of societies’ expectations for women. You decorate yourself for yourself, not to integrate yourself into any subgroup. When I see you in red, not knowing you other than from your blog, I think,“there goes a free thinker!” I just observed that there is a mom uniform near me: plain sleeveless tank top, kneelength shorts, and sturdy sandals…functional and uninspiring. I just locked my blog, but do email me for an invite if you are interested!
11 · Jessica · 12 September 2012, 03:14
Love you and your red, Lauren.
12 · Tobie Harris · 12 September 2012, 03:33
I love your red, Lauren. I’m monochromatic too (grey/black). It’s an outer skin of sorts, like a bug or animal, although my husband sweetly calls it my “uniform”. It is a thoughtful choice, but also lightens the load of decisions to be made on a daily basis.
13 · suzanne · 12 September 2012, 06:38
you look lovely in red and it’s great that you feel confident enough to wear such a vibrant colour. a lot of people are afraid of too much colour. i love colour, but unfortunately don’t have the right complexion for a rich red. when i come across a colour that doesn’t look good on me, i paint it on a wall. it’s a way for me to enjoy the colour. hence a teal living room, apple blossom dining room, lavendar spare room and my son (bless him) just painted his room grey and red. colour makes me happy.
as for clothes, i wear what’s comfortable for me. jeans, ankle length skirts, cozy sweaters, bohemian, goth, flip flops, big earrings and funky boots. i never wear t-shirts. i don’t know why, but i can’t stand them. i also knit and wear lots of fingerless mitts and toques.
14 · arawajo · 12 September 2012, 06:48
I don’t have style, but my passion is trees and for the last couple of years I’ve tried to wear green tops and brown pants. I like to think I look tree like in these colours! Lol
Love your red colours Lauren, red really suits you.
15 · Sarah Mackay · 12 September 2012, 08:01
For what it’s worth I think you look great in red!!
I don’t really have a style! I like the brighter colours. I have never cared much for fashion and my sister would totally dispear of me when we went clothes shopping as kids! She is a monocrome girl I am NOT!! LOL!!
I too have tried to free my children from my OCD tendencies! Like the matching pegs on the clothes … although that did help when they were learning there colours; “Can you pass me 2 green pegs?”
I love to be able to have the freedom to embrace the way I am. As I accept ME I then have the freedom to BE me!
Thanks for sharing your journey Lauren.
Love,
Sarah xxxx
16 · Angie Melissa · 12 September 2012, 10:24
My style seems to change with my mood. My mother always told me that I never knew myself because i didn’t stick with one style so for a while I stuck with fairly conservative styles.
Now I just wear what I want & I love colour. I just bought myself a couple of black tops for summer as I have some beautiful colourful skirts & it gets a bit expensive buying colourful tops that match all skirts.
But some days I feel like colourful skirts, others I feel like cargo pants & black top, others I feel like more dressy conservative clothes & on an all day home day I love stretchy tops & trackies or shorts.
I saw a comment someone wrote to you once that made me think you might have been raised not to wear red because of your red hair so I guessed you’d embraced red for yourself. :) I was always told purple was a no-no for red heads too hence why my red haired kid is given lots of purple clothes to wear ;) & I’ve only ever had comments of ‘Gorgeous!’.
17 · K. · 12 September 2012, 21:14
Your aura is red.
I never really doubted you wearing red all the time, it’s just obvious that you would choose that colour.
People should all wear the colour of their aura. The total picture is more harmonious that way.
18 · Laura · 13 September 2012, 04:17
I chuckle a bit that you like to wear red. Renee always hated to wear red because it clashed with her hair. :)
19 · Liz from America :) · 14 September 2012, 00:00
I, also, have wondered why you wear mainly red, for one reason—because I do the same thing! When I found your blog and began catching your comments about red-wearing, and seeing your pictures, I thought it was so interesting to find another red-buddy. I’ve had people (like my daughter) ask why I wear so much red and orange. I don’t really know, except that it’s boldness expresses how I feel on the inside. Muted colors feel too quiet and dormant to me. While it looks lovely on others, an all-beige outfit just feels wrong on me.
I am 36 years old, and it is only been in the last few years that I have been comfortable enough with myself to not copy what is around me. And like you…this is the time in my life when I receive more compliments from others—about my hair, my skin, everything. Even, surprisingly, my clothes. I dress feminine but unconventionally. I tend to take items that don’t have a use, and recreate them—into a headband, scarf, bracelet…etc. The compliments are an unexpected, pleasant surprise since I’m actually not trying to look good, but just follow my own line of personal preferences, no matter how “odd”. :-)
My story with this is eerily similar to yours. I was very controlled by adults, and told what I should look like up until I was in my mid-twenties!
My dreadlocks journey has been a big part of my breaking free. You gave me the courage to test my long-time fascination with them, and it started out as “just” a hairstyle that I thought I liked. But about 2 months into my natural dreadlocks journey, something happened. I realized that I was forced to let go of trying to pursue conventional, americanized beauty. I found that letting it go was the best thing I’ve ever done for myself. It awakened me to the realization of how much we seek affirmation from others based on our appearance.
I didn’t really know I was in bondage over this, but now that I’m free of it, it sure feels great.
And by the way, I LOVE red clothes with red hair! 3 of our kids have red hair, and its perfect. :-)
Also, I’m going to be ordering the red buff headband soon. I thought of you b/c when I was on the buff site, the red and orange bands were the only ones I really loved, lol.
20 · Morgan · 17 September 2012, 19:08
peacock blue, the most magical color to me, like the bird itself
and my knitwear is me, fashion doesn’t interest me
love the reds too, so what’s not peacock blue in my wardrobe, is red
and my daughter’s hair is red, and I LOVE her freckles ;-)
Morgan (Belgium)
21 · sandie-mirabai · 20 September 2012, 07:10
Hi Lauren, I also wear alot of red and two years ago purchased my lovely red sheets, red fitted sheet, doona cover pillow slips , so I sleep in red , I love them, so I get your love of red, sandie x
22 · Emily Brown · 20 September 2012, 15:58
hi Lauren,
I LOVE all the photos of you wearing red. It suits you so very well. I just came across this and thought of you!
http://www.scarves.net/blog/decode-your-scarf-color-personality
P.S. I’m a new follower of your blog for the past many months and have wanted to comment since then just to let you know I enjoy your writings so much….and have prayed and grieved for you. {Hugs} to you from Iowa, USA.
23 · Paulo · 13 December 2012, 14:00
Quite simply, Lauren: red fits you. You’ve always had the red hair, so the red wardrobe is like an enhancement of a natural quality. If that makes any sense. I think it looks great.
24 · Heather · 18 December 2012, 07:49
Red is my favorite, I named my first daughter Scarlett and she always wears red, I have my youngest daughter Violet always in purple, but as they grow Violet has grown into Scarletts red clothes and Scarlett got a bunch of purple hand me downs. lol My color coded children are mismatched! On Scarletts 1st birthday party I asked everyone to wear red, we have 4 red heads in the family and they all said they had trouble finding red as red heads never wear red. lol But hear your are. It’s really beautiful!!