Lesson in the stones
3 August 12
Yesterday, as we were walking around the beautiful Buddhist retreat centre, Delaney started picking up rocks from the pathway. We were on a set of steep stairs, and I knew that she would benefit from holding my hand. However, her hands were clasping the dusty stones — something that in my maturity and wisdom, I no longer treasure. So I gently suggested to Dell that she let her rocks go.
“There are always more rocks to pick up,” I said. “If you let those ones go, we can hold hands as we go down the stairs.”
And I heard the truth of my own words ripple past the physical and into the spiritual. For there are always more things in life to fill the voids left by the things that we lose, and in allowing new treasures in our lives, we aren’t betraying the ones we’ve given up.
That morning, I had broken my treasured drinking jar — a beautiful, handled Mason jar gifted to me by one of the most earthy and stylish women I have ever met. I mourned the loss of my special mug, and yet as I disposed of the glass, I knew that its sudden absence did not need to define my emotions.
There is a peace that can permeate my life, even with the loss of something important — like a son or a spouse. These losses do not need to define my emotions, as I can draw strength from the life that is happening around me, focus on the people who are at hand, and respond to them accordingly.
I did not seek to eat from this platter — tragic loss with a generous serving of grief, drizzled with judgement and suspicion. I had my eyes on another plate of food. But this was served to me, and I can take it with thankfulness and deliberately gain strength and compassion from the bitter flavours that could otherwise make me fade away.
Just as I encouraged Delaney to let her stones drop to the path, I can let my visions of the future disappear. Instead of holding onto my past, I can turn to my children and hold their hands as we navigate the steep hill together.



“There are always more rocks to pick up,” I said. And I knew that I was talking to myself. Our children are a precious lesson to me to embrace the moment and create something beautiful out of the blessings I have been given — even if they do appear to be just plain rocks.
1 · Allira · 4 August 2012, 08:02
You are right, there are stones everywhere and it is ok to let certain things go. And it is ok to put some in your pocket and treasure them too. I cannot imagine the strength that it takes to wake up in the mornings and be so wonderfully present for your little ones :-) sometimes it may be helpful to remember that in the moments that you lose your thoughts of Elijah and focus on your girls, there are hundreds of mothers who can hold him in their thoughts too. I know that there are many times during the week that I think of you and your bubba and take positive action with my children ( perhaps being more gentle or patient) because of those thoughts x
2 · Angie Melissa · 4 August 2012, 08:20
That is just sooo beautiful. I can’t say I find the truth of it easy right now but that doesn’t change the fact that you’re very right. Have you shared your insight with your kiddies? I think my eldest would grasp some of this. :)
3 · Erin · 4 August 2012, 09:49
Aww… Delaney’s bright little face —what a treasure!! Letting go of our own expectations and “embracing the plain rocks”, as you put it so well, is truly one of life’s greatest challenges.
4 · Tanya · 4 August 2012, 12:21
your words are beautiful a nd true.
5 · Donna · 4 August 2012, 13:17
Thanks for sharing the wisdom you’ve gained. It resonates with me.
6 · Erin · 4 August 2012, 14:05
beautiful x
7 · Pa · 4 August 2012, 16:11
Carpe diem?
8 · Andrea · 4 August 2012, 21:47
This is so beautiful. You are an inspiring woman. I don’t know if I could handle sadness, tragedy, with such grace. You should write a book (although I would miss your blog) which I’ve always thought bc your life has been so fascinating. It’d be a bestseller just from word of mouth alone and you’d not have to worry about money for quite some time. Love the paragraph about eating from the platter. Just so beautiful and wise. Praying for you and your family.
9 · G · 6 August 2012, 10:45
What a fabulous place, this has been added to our “To-Do” list.
10 · Lisa · 7 August 2012, 12:50
Thank you for sharing your insights. I am in a healing process as well. May Jesus bless you & keep you on your journey of healing.
11 · kylie · 8 August 2012, 20:01
Such a beautiful post.
Thankyou for being exactly who you are.
Much love to you and your family.
12 · Melinda · 23 August 2012, 10:33
Letting go is one of the most important things we learn xxx
13 · rose · 4 September 2012, 01:26
Thank you for sharing these beautiful and powerful words.
14 · Neptune · 18 January 2015, 10:17
As I stand at the precipice of another leap into the unknown, somehow google led me to you, dear Red Gypsy Woman! Usually it has taken major traumatic events to push me into these leaps of faith, but this time I am aware of that pattern and would rather just move with Grace into the New… I landed on this story, Lauren, and this is God speaking to Self – a message for you to me and me to you :D
Thank you… much Love, Neptune