Elijah's unfuneral
8 July 12
Elijah’s unfuneral yesterday was a celebration of life, and I was honoured by the people who came to share the day with me.
The gloomy burial was immediately followed by a vibrant party in the park the perfect way to connect with friends and surround ourselves with love. The sun shone warmly as we chatted for hours while children played around us.
We gather in the park attracted to each other by the colour red and rainbows flit across the camera lens as the moments are captured.
I wear my red Ergo in memory of my son Elijah's favourite place to be. This time, it's holding his rainbow rug.
The ugly sock Elijah wore on his last day hangs from the back of the sling with his rattle. They're my treasured momentos of the hollowness within my heart.
Helium balloons are handed out freely to those who will accept them.
It's a beautiful day to be out at the park, celebrating life.
Many people contribute party food for the unfuneral. Georgia created this beautiful, healthy rainbow of fruit.
Proper party food is also available lollies and fairy bread.
Our children play freely at the playground while the grown-ups chat.
My sister Renee (in blue) arrives from Hong Kong and surprises Carla and me. A friend has picked her up from the airport and brought her to the park for the unfuneral.
This is the first time my father has been with all three of his daughters since 1995!
My sister Renee brings rainbow-hued face-paint a beautiful addition to the party atmosphere.
Thoughtful friends bring little presents for the girls. These are gratefully received and eagerly unwrapped.
Our girls hold onto rainbow balloons which makes them easy to spot in the crowd.
Delaney stays close to me for most of the time, but occasionally wanders off under the watchful eye of a friend or relative.
Aisha is shy among so many new faces and sticks close to the friends she already knows.
Brioni makes a new friend quickly, and they are soon running off to explore the park together.
It's an honour to greet those who have come from far away to share this day with me, including Abby and Karen who flew up from Sydney.
It is wonderful to spend time with Barry and Trish Tiffen. They're very special friends who have known us from before David and I got married.
It's wonderful to finally meet some of my online buddies, including Helena and Currawong who drove up from NSW.
It's so wonderful to have Ree here with me at this time. She has been a special friend for fifteen years.
When Becca and her sister Debbie turn up at the park, we can record the largest reunion of ICAers that Australia has ever seen five in one location! There weren't many Australians at the American boarding school we attended together in West Africa.
As anticipated, Elijah’s unfuneral yesterday was less about death and more about life. Our girls had been calling it “Elijah’s party” as they anticipated the day, and it was like a party the perfect way to celebrate his life!
(Thank you so much to the generous Georgia of Gregarious Peach who took all these beautiful photos for me. I am grateful for your time and presence.)
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1 · Ruth · 19 July 2012, 22:16
Thank you so much for adding these beautiful photos to the text so that we who couldn’t be with you could still feel part of this special day.
Love and prayers, Ruth
2 · Majikfaerie · 20 July 2012, 20:05
So beautiful. So inspiring. Love you so much
3 · Georgia · 10 August 2012, 21:05
I’ve only just seen this now. I was so honoured to help you in any way possible. How gracious, strong and loving you were on this special celebration of Elijah’s life. You have taught me (and so many other people) so much.
4 · Gemma · 16 September 2012, 15:21
Lauren, thank you for adding these photos of your special day – the rainbows captured by the camera made me both teary and happy at the same time, I believe your little one was there xxxx
5 · bob · 30 January 2013, 09:21
WHAT THE HELL IS AN UNFUNERAL?? ITS OK TO BE A FERRAL OR A TREE HUGGER…OR ANYTHING ELSE…BUT A FUNERAL IS A FUNERAL…A CELLEBRATION OF LIFE…THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS AN UNFUNERAL….AND TO SUGGEST IT IS ANYTHING BUT CHRISTIAN. AND HEY IF YOU HAVE NO RELIGSOUS BELIEF THEN WHY DID YOU HAVE ANY BURIAL WHAT A SAD PACK OF FROOT LOOPS!
6 · Carzajoy · 11 March 2013, 09:58
Bob, an unfuneral is exactly what they had for Elijah.. isn’t it obvious to you!? bright colours and good vibes, an uplifting party instead of black and other dark colours at a sombre memorial service. Instead of being stuclk in a mouldy old institutional way of honouring their beloved departed son/brother/grandson/nephew and friend, they made it a fun filled, loving and vibrant celebration of his short life. They dont look like a sad pack of fruit loops to me and how sad for you, that you see it that way Bob.
7 · Glenne · 3 November 2013, 12:27
How disgustingly rude you are ‘Bob’. I couldn’t have lived a more ‘mainstream and respectable’ life, my husband and I are bank managers & accountants, volunteers & leaders in our community, our kids were raised in a very traditional home and have gone on to be very successful in very traditional careers….but….in the same way as Lauren would acknowledge my right to do this, I can still honour this family’s choices, and I really can’t understand anyone who can’t. Why on earth do you feel the right to not only comment but criticise anything that was done during this gut wrenching time by these decent, loving, harmless people. Bob, if only you could exhibit one tiny fraction of the kindness and acceptance that Lauren displayed, at a time when she could have been forgiven for being an absolute, revolting mess. But I suppose we all, no matter our differences, need to accept that some people will always try to bring the decent people down to their level – their nasty, critical, spiteful level. I can only say Bob that if you represent ‘normal’ and ‘traditional’ no wonder no one wants anything to do with it. Lauren, you are amazing, I wish you and your family continued strength and peace and I admire your grace in all situations. The flashes of rainbow in these pictures brought tears to my eyes; your boy is with you xx