There is hope, and there is a future, I just don’t know what it looks like yet.

In memory of Elijah Rainbow Fisher

Today was the first day that I felt like smiling at strangers again. For a while, I’ve been so consumed by my own grief that I stopped talking to people as I completed my errands. Today, I basked in the warmth of the sun and felt like everything was going to be okay again — just a different kind of okay.

We have a car now, which means we can go places. This is a huge thing for our family because we have been itinerant for so long. The girls are most happy when they’re exploring new venues every day. We look forward to visiting friends on the Sunshine Coast as soon as possible.

Our seven-seater car was generously given to us by my sisters’ family, and David’s mother helped pay for the necessary repairs to get it on the road. I plan to have a tow-bar fitted next week so we can start towing our trailer, and then life will start to return to our own sparkling brand of normalcy. We don’t know how long the car will last without some more major repairs, but at least it will get us out of the shed for a little while.

The girls are so excited about Elijah’s party tomorrow. They’ve been counting down the days, and I was surprised this morning by the arrival of a special friend from Canberra. I am awed and honoured by the people who will come to the park tomorrow, and I know it’s going to be a fun day for me too!

In housekeeping matters, I received notification yesterday that it’ll probably be months before I get my computer back, so although I’ve been taking pictures to record the sparkles in our days, I won’t be able to get them online for a while. When I do, there’ll be a rash of back-dated posts.

And I’ve temporarily turned off the commenting feature on this blog. I write for myself and for my children, and although it’s wonderful to connect with like-minded people worldwide through this blog, I don’t have the extra energy at the moment to process unsupportive remarks. I’ve been blogging almost daily for years, and despite all the extra attention — positive and negative — I’m not going to stop. If you have something positive to share with me, I can be contacted through Facebook.