Happy families often sleep together. I used to be a person who believed that every child needed their own bedroom. Now I’m happy if no one falls out of bed or kicks their sibling in the face!
When we first started travelling in our horse truck, we only had four children, with three of them sharing the bottom bed. I wondered how we would be able sleep with another baby added to the mix, but the four girls have managed to share a bed just fine.
Our girls arrange themselves on the queen-sized bed in various formations, although this is a popular one. Occasionally Aisha moves the sheepskin rug to the floor to gain a bit more space.
Elijah sleeps in the blanket box when he's not up in our top bed.
Occasionally we end up with someone in our bed on the top shelf. Usually it’s the baby, but sometimes it’s one or another of the girls who wants a break from her sisters.
Sharing beds is only possible if the family lives in peace and harmony throughout the day. Two years ago, we would never have considered sharing a room — let along a bed! — with our children. These pictures would have looked terrifying to us because we would have imagined the chaos that we would have produced in our previous reactive states. Now, as we have learned to guide our family in paths of righteousness, we are able to share a small space together.
After sharing a picture of a huge combined family bed we saw during our travels in Sydney in January this year, we received quite a lot of feedback from others who also share their master bedroom (and bed) with their children. So here are some pictures from Sparkling Adventures’ readers who also have unconventional sleeping arrangements.
Ellie's room full of beds sleeps her tribe of five. The wall-to-wall bed is a single, a double and a queen put together. The 7yo daughter sleeps in the single. Next to her is a 20-month-old daughter, then Eliie, then a 4yo son and the Daddy on the other side. Ellie says that "Though we do like to play a bit of bed tetris, this is generally how it goes. I wouldn't have it any other way and neither would my kids. Happy families definitely co-sleep. It's so lovely to see my daughters cuddling at night of being warmed in winter by sweet babes."
This is Rosy's sleeping arrangement right now. On the bed sleeps Rosy, her husband, 3yo daughter and 5mo son. On the floor (on mattress pads) sleeps Rosy's 11yo daughter, 7yo daughter and 5yo son.
This is Amy's bedroom. She says they ended up separating the beds a little while she was pregnant as Amy was having trouble climbing out over the end of the bed. Current sleeping arrangements include a 9mo daughter against the wall, Amy, a 3yo son and Amy's husband. A 4yo son and 5yo son generally end up in there somewhere pretty much every night. The 6yo son may come in every once in a while but he usually prefers to sleep in his own bed now. You'll also notice the little cot-size mattress under the first bed, which is an option for any of the kids if they don't want to sleep in the beds.
Sarah's family travels full-time in a bus. On her bed sleeps a 4yo daughter, Sarah and her husband, a 2yo son and a 6yo daughter. Under the main bed, a 9yo daughter sleeps with her dog. About one metre from the end of the main bed, two sets of bunk-beds sleep a 11yo daughter, a 13yo daughter (and her dog) and a 15yo (and her dog)!
Tina sleeps in the queen bed with my her 5yo daughter. A 6yo daughter sleeps in the top bunk, a 12yo daughter sleeps in the bottom bunk (known as "the cave") and Tina's 14yo son sleeps in the red bed. Tina says she has suggested the teens move down to the basement for "more room," but they both say they want to stay together at night!
In Shanna's bedroom, they've taken the bed-frame off the king-sized bed because it's easier for the youngest to get on and off the bed without it. Shanna's 6.5yo sleeps on the top bunk, the 4yo sleeps on the bottom bunk. The 2yo sleeps on his cot mattress (supported on a wooden platform that matches the height of the big bed) or in the king bed with Shanna and her husband.
I think it’s amazing to see all these bedrooms. Friends, thank you so much for sharing them with us!
What about you, do you have a shared bedroom too?
1 · Cheryl Beggs · 5 April 2012, 09:36
Very cool! So sweet and cozy. Nothing better than family snuggles.
2 · Mary · 5 April 2012, 14:40
Cool, I love all the pics and am particularly amazed by the bus and so many children. I think it is true that it is so much about the parents reactive nature and switching over to a peaceful cohesion throughout the day. I also co sleep with my 13, 8, and 4 year old. They all love it! Although I do think the 13 year old would prefer his own bed but in the same room:)
3 · Carolyn · 6 April 2012, 00:22
I think that’s great and seems to work well for you. However, I do wonder a little about the implication that if a family doesn’t sleep together, they aren’t a happy, at peace family. I suspect there are many happy, well adjusted families who sleep in separate beds and even bedrooms (and whose children learn just fine in a classroom as well as from life and from their parents, which I agree is hugely important.). I certainly remember by age 5 or 6 being quite happy to ditch my brothers and have my own room and only sleeping with my parents on nights I really felt insecure. My niece is 3 and has her own room, and I have rarely seen a happier, more at peace family than theirs. Ah well, we’ll see what happens when my little one arrives and gets a bit older.
4 · Carma · 6 April 2012, 00:41
OH! I love these big bed pictures! Makes me miss when my babies did sleep with me (they all stayed in bed with us until about age 5). With two teens and two older elementary kids, everyone has their own space now (the two youngest still share a bed).
5 · Jade · 6 April 2012, 01:11
I have to be honest, the idea of co-sleeping fills me with dread. However, my views on siblings sharing rooms has changed since moving from Australia to Hong Kong. My siblings and I shared rooms at various points in my childhood but I always thought it was nicer to have my own room. So in Australia, the kids had big separate bedrooms.
Then we moved to Hong Kong. As you know in Hong Kong the housing situation is SO different. While we have enough rooms in our place for them to have one each, we decided to keep one for a guest room, and have the kids share. The thing is that the rooms are so tiny. They both sleep in kid-sized beds which can JUST fit into the room. They’re so close together, you can only just squeeze down in between them. They often fall asleep holding hands across the tiny gap! I adore it. There’s nothing better than looking in on your two snoring bedheads on the way to your own room at night! (Which I’m sure will always remain just for my husband and I…I don’t know that I can be dissuaded from that ;) The most surprising thing to me is how much they love it. I guess they’re still quite young (5 and 3) and don’t have much of a need for personal space but I’m still surprised!
Anyway, here’s a picture of my kids’ almost co-sleeping with each other because of the tiny room sizes here.
http://jadeluxe.wordpress.com/2011/05/18/who-knew/
6 · Mirjam · 6 April 2012, 18:50
We have been co-sleeping for 10 years. Now our 3 boys (10, 7 & 4) share a bed. I occasionally ‘steal’ the youngest, when DH is out of town though :)
I would absolutely do it again, co-sleeping, but I also like the new ‘phase’ of not waking up several times a night and more space in the bed.
7 · Jenn · 7 April 2012, 11:34
Good thing you don’t think every child needs their own room anymore or you’d need an awfully big trailer (or house)!
We’ve always coslept with our two and we loved the side-carred cot option for the little ones. I couldn’t find any photos of our bedroom but here’s a link to the sight that helped me set it up:
http://www.drmomma.org/2010/01/turn-your-crib-into-cosleeper.html
We’ve now moved to me in one room with the baby (who was a very noisy feeder) and B in the other room with our older child. Looking forward to all being in one room again but with different bedtimes and a noisy toddler it just doesn’t work right now.
Love the new blog header btw!
8 · Manou · 11 April 2012, 13:26
I also wonder why beds have to be so high!
9 · Lea · 11 April 2012, 21:46
I love our family bed. We have just one child and no intentions for any more and the three of us share the one bedroom with a queen and a single pushed together, we didn’t always bed share, but now I cannot imagine it any other way. I especially love it when it’s been a tough day as a parent, I find sharing that space at night really helps me reconnect with my son and remember what is important while letting go of the things that have worn me out during the day.