The progression of parenthood in bathing
4 October 10
Parenting is a fine but diminishing art. When you have one child, you can lavish them with all your attention and care. However, with consecutive children, the standards slip. This is obvious in the way we have changed our style in bathing our children.
Baby #1
You purchase cartons of the purest spring water and heat it gently to the right temperature before pouring it into a custom-designed baby bath. If you’re on a budget, you collect buckets of rain water and use that instead of the heavily chlorinated water that comes out of the tap. You only use all-natural, all-organic soaps and shampoos which make your baby smell nicer than you ever have. You place your baby in her perfectly-heated bath and keep one hand on her at all times, even though it means you can’t reach the baby’s organic cotton towel and have to dry her on your shirt instead.
Baby #2
You run a bath of water at the correct temperature, checking it carefully with the inside of your wrist before putting your baby in. You bathe your baby first and then let your toddler use the same water for her long, playful bath. There’s a smidgen of the organic soap left, so you use that or another child-friendly soap that caught your eye at the supermarket. While your toddler is in the bath, you’re comfortable sitting in the corner of the bathroom and may even read a book if your toddler is happy enough. If a “floatie” emerges, the bath is immediately evacuated and everyone is given a hot shower to sanitise them again.
Baby #3
The baby seems to get clean enough from going in the shower with you, your toddler and your pre-schooler. The only complaint you have is that you never seem to get to shower by yourself anymore. The kids are washed with whatever soap is close at hand, even if it’s just the liquid hand soap. Bath-times are still treasured, but more for babysitting purposes than for getting clean. If a “floatie” emerges, you scoop it out and play resumes. You might venture a room or two away and can hear your two children playing in the bath and can judge acutely how much water will be on the floor when you return.
Baby #4
By this time you’re convinced that your baby doesn’t really need soap. And baths? Not so much, either. Not much of a baby gets dirty. You occasionally wash your baby in the kitchen sink before you do the dishes (until they start grabbing at the dirty pots and then you wash them after you’ve done the dishes). You’re back to bathing your three older children in rainwater — but it’s only when they play outside in the rain without clothes on. You have hosed down the toddler once or twice after a particularly explosive poo. And if a “floatie” is found in the bath, you ask the perpetrator to remove it.
And at our household, Baby #4 was bathed tonight like this (without soap):
What standards have slipped in your house?
1 · Marisa · 4 October 2010, 23:57
It might be easier to list the ones that HAVEN’T slipped. Loved this, by the way.
I will mention that there are ways in which life has become EASIER with the advent of significantly older children. This is one of the reasons to have them in the first place: legal slavery. :P
2 · Kim H · 5 October 2010, 01:29
That post was hilarious! Being the mumma to only one child I can soooo see that it would be exactly like this for me, had I had more.LOL
3 · MuffinMonsterBB · 5 October 2010, 07:08
haha so true. And how comfy does your bubba look in that sink!
4 · Katrina · 5 October 2010, 10:14
Like Marisa I was going to say listing the standards that haven’t slipped might be shorter lol. Some of my standards have slipped because it is now an older child that does the task and not me. Others have slipped because I no longer have the time or energy to care quite so much. And others have slipped because I now know I was being far too over protective or picky and it really won’t hurt the kids.
I think the only standards that have gotten tougher in our house is the modesty of the girls dress. How many stains that are allowed on that dress before it is no longer church worthy or a “good” dress don’t matter so much anymore.
5 · Katherine · 6 October 2010, 09:13
Hey Lauren!
I am hoping that you are joking (kinda) with this post.
We have always done the same thing be it 1 or ++++ children. Considering I am cooking baby number 5 now I do not see things changing anytime soon.
The kiddies get bathed every second day WITH soap unless something major comes up on ‘bath night’ then they are bathed the next afternoon, morning or evening.
Children are NEVER left unattended in the bath and thinking of others doing it makes me VERY uneasy. My sister in law used to do it and Ben or I would sit in the room with our niece if we were over.
It is just not worth the risk and older children shouldn’t be ‘responsible’ to ‘watch’ the younger ones because they are ALL children. I classify as an ólder child’ being OVER 10.
Of course my typing this probably makes me appear to be a ‘worried’ mother which indeed I am not.
This just falls in with other ‘non negotiables’ as far as safety goes.
6 · David · 7 October 2010, 18:51
This post is a travesty – The husband bathes the baby of his own volition, his face is in the video and yet he doesn’t even rate a mention!
7 · Wanderlust · 11 October 2010, 11:08
Hilarious post! What standards have slipped in our house? I would say meals. I don’t think my daughter had sugar — at all — until she was maybe 18 months old. I plied her with fruits and vegetables. Now? They have cocao puffs for breakfast and if tomato sauce counts as a vegetable then my kids are good. Ugh!
8 · Colleen · 11 October 2010, 15:16
Love this post! Your girls are so cute and love the accents too! My confession….#4 is the standard in our house for the two youngest. They would much rather bath out in the driveway with a hose than in the house in the shower. So they’ll don bathing suits, take the soap, shampoo and the hose and have a “bath” outside. A few years ago they would have done it naked, but at 7 and 10, they are more modest.
9 · Peta Fussell · 12 October 2010, 02:35
I love David’s comment. :-)
The only bit of our children that gets soap is their hair, or their grass-stained knees. We bath the three of them every 3 nights (sometimes every 2 in summer when they’re getting particularly dirty), and the same water is used for all of them. If a floatie was to emerge, we would probably drain the tub and switch to showers for any remaining. I never leave the 2 year old in the tub alone and instead use it as an op to clean the bathroom. The 5 and 8 yr old are fine to be left, although we check on them regularly.
Enjoyed this humorous, realistic post Lauren! :-)
10 · jenny penton · 14 October 2010, 03:36
gosh is this cute and the truth. That happened to me and now it’s me in the shower with about 3 little ones!!!
His face in the sink is priceless:)